This is shaming to him. Have you a resource that discusses step-by-step how to conduct a successful parent/teacher conference. Always be aware of which adults are around when your kid is out or at other houses. God bless. Sounds like an excellent plan! I’ve spent over 20 years teaching in the environment you describe. However, it often does the opposite. The saddest part is that my boss seemed to believe her. Or worse, you bristle at their angry tone, become defensive, and drive a wedge through the critical teacher-parent relationship. This really helps me in dealing with my difficult students. This should come through loud and clear when talking with parents. Leave nothing out but add nothing more. Remember, you aren’t calling them to solicit their help. I will ask for a commitment to these goals. Thank you! By sharing observations and concerns, parents can become better informed about their child and can respond and seek out help. When you speak up, a child may receive necessary help. Note: Sending a classroom management packet home during the first week of school is an effective hedge against parents being surprised or angered during this step. It’s also avoidable. Once you've resolved to talk to a child about their parent's addiction, it's important to educate yourself first. It’s not something we’ve covered here on the website, but I’ll add it to the list of future topics. Parents watch their children move from infancy to toddlerhood, from preschool to elementary school and beyond. Or have you had any experience with parents who are unhelpful or tell you that their child can do whatever they want to? The following provides information for Educators on how to talk to parents about their child's behavioural issues. I asked the principal, and she also was less than helpful. I have asked the other two middle school teachers, and they were less than helpful. If, however, you’re asked your opinion after the conference, then proceed cautiously. Do you have any thoughts about parents that are very difficult to get a hold of (phone number is always changing, etc)? The sole purpose of talking to parents about behavior is to inform. Her example, she noted as they were leaving one day a staff member saw her child, sighed loudly and rolled her eyes and quickly walked away. There is a parent who is also a co-worker who from day one has only shown to be a very unhappy, disrespectful, unkind and a bully person. I teach ELA, Middle school, inner city. I will explain the behaviour and the goals for them to follow. The parents may not be aware of their child’s behaviors. Restrict talk about your child's successes and talents to the child's other parent, grandparents, and aunts and uncles. Should You Keep Misbehaving Students Out Of Fun Activities? If there are other adults who share your concerns and observations, consider having them partner with you when you talk to the parents. Generally, they’re afraid of three things: The parent (or parents) will get angry and defensive. And because the topic of conversation is their child, their beloved flesh and blood, parents respond by fighting back. When I brought my concern to my boss this person lied and turned the table on me. Simple reassurance isn’t enough. These fears are well founded. In fact, they’ll come away from your talk impressed with you and more willing than ever to support your classroom. Inform parent(s) about misbehaviour. Give parents an honest, non-judgemental picture of their child while keeping your opinion–as much as possible–to yourself. Share your feelings. Put yourself in these parents’ shoes. I teach in a very poor economic area. The parent will question their competence. Rex O. Blevins, M.A., L.P.C. Include the positive. If personal safety is a concern, do not have this conversation. We hade no internet for the first two weeks. I agree with you that you need to be friendly, but very straight forward. It’s my pleasure, Lee Ann. Be confident that sharing your observations and concerns is the right thing to do. The hardest part is finding the right words and getting started. Bringing up concerns about a child’s sexual behavior to  his or her parents may feel awkward and even scary, but when you become aware of a child engaged in unhealthy sexual activity, it’s time for action steps. STOP IT NOW! Share resources Encourage families to use milestone checklists or the Milestone Moments booklet to monitor their child’s development at home. Describe behaviors personally witnessed or that a child has reported to you. Please contact us about permissions and to tell us how you plan to put our resources to work. When there are difficult issues that need to be discussed, it will be easier to talk about the concern when it doesn’t feel like you’re talking to a stranger. A strong parent can help a child find a way to … Encourage them to spend more time with kids who you think are a good influence. My best advice is to be polite and honest in return, no matter how this person behaves, and concentrate on doing your job. Encourage them in their hobbies and interests. Do not attack their child. I have this one particular parent who is always interfering with how I run my class. Avoid judgment and criticism. Moreover parents have brain and intelligency of their own which they should utilize. To answer your first question, you have to find a way—which may entail calling family members or classmates until you’re able to locate the parent. Her concern was regarding the professionalism of some of the staff. No parent wants to feel like a teacher is done with their kid, no parent will continue to work as a team with a teacher who has no desire to fix the problem and wants the parents to fix their problem, i.e., their child. Many teachers, even seasoned veterans, have a fear of talking to parents about their child’s misbehavior. A common mistake teachers make is that they affect an attitude of “so what are you gonna do about it” when speaking to parents. Click here and begin receiving classroom management articles like this one in your email box every week. With care and support, as well as professional treatment when appropriate, children can learn what behaviors are healthy and safe. I have a parent who will not accept that her child is violent, lies, premeditates both, is extremely disruptive and rude and is constantly hurting other children with nasty comments and acts of violence. No, it shouldn’t. Generally, they’re afraid of three things: While discussing behavior, teachers tend to say things that rub parents the wrong way. Parents often think they are overstepping their boundaries while children often think their parents may not be interested in what they have to say. By speaking up, you can help a child stay safe. The parent (or parents) will get angry and defensive. IS A REGISTERED 501(C)(3) ORGANIZATION | EIN: 04-3150129. When you follow the guidelines above, you’ll discover that conversations with parents are nothing to fear. “If parents go to fast-food restaurants and expose their child to junk food around the house, that child will develop the same habits—and those habits are extremely hard to break.” With those things in mind, talking to parents and their children about obesity doesn’t have to be as hard as it seems. Tell the parent precisely what happened—or what has been happening—that prompted your call. Before you talk to Parents you need to consider what is causing the child's misbehaviour, could it be something happening at home, a new baby, parents going through a divorce, is the child feeling unwell, could it be overstimulation of activities or boredom? You can and should say, “This is the behavior I’m seeing, and any behavior, like this, that interferes with learning is not allowed in this classroom.” Don’t hold back in this regard. Talk about development regularly Talk with parents regularly about their child’s development – not only at times of concern -- and provide them with resources so they can track milestones at home. 3.) Many teachers, even seasoned veterans, have a fear of talking to parents about their child's misbehavior. For a situation so particular, the best I can offer is personal coaching (see menu bar). 's ParentTalk newsletters for parents of offending juveniles. You might say, “Mary, I often have regular chats throughout the year with parents to get to know them better, talk about how their children are adjusting to child care, or just general things we need to … It may entail waiting for them to drop their child off or pick them up. Parents who can work together and communicate concerns they have about children are setting the stage for a safer and healthier environment for all children involved. What should I do? I’m facing my first round of parent/teacher conferences.
2020 how to talk to parents about their child